


It Changes (And It Doesn't)

by sunsxleil



Series: Merry Christmas, I Love You [13]
Category: Carol (2015)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28109076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsxleil/pseuds/sunsxleil
Summary: It's Christmas Eve, and Carol has been planning something for a while now, with Abby's help. The ring is in her (newly installed, just for this occasion) coat pocket, and nerves wrack through her entire system. Unbeknownst to Carol, Therese is dealing with the same feeling.
Relationships: Carol Aird/Therese Belivet
Series: Merry Christmas, I Love You [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035672
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	It Changes (And It Doesn't)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from a little Google search where [this list](https://oneshotsandheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/167716040859/christmas-prompts) popped up. Hope you guys enjoy!

“Dannie.” Therese hisses into the phone. “You have it? It’s what Genevieve and I picked?”

“Yes,” Dannie says, sighs. Therese can almost see him smiling, and would swat his arm through the phone if she could. “It’ll be fine, Therese.”

“It better be.” But this time, Therese says the words more to herself, just as the sound of a closing door reaches her across the apartment.

“Well, that’s my cue.” Dannie says, and hangs up the phone. Therese sets the phone down, and turns.

Carol is smiling at her, leaning against the wall, wearing a new blue dress they had picked out the last time they went to the mall. Carol stretches a hand out at her, and Therese feels all the anxiety deflating out of her.

* * *

The party is at Abby’s house, which is a nice change of scene for most of them since they were mostly New Yorkers. Therese sits at the arm of the couch, chatting with Dannie and Genevieve who came with their respective partners. Carol watches her, arms crossed, and despite being very happy in the company of the party, Carol downs a glass of whiskey out of sight from Therese.

Carol hears Abby approaching, who places a hand on her own—which makes Carol realize her fingers are tapping against her arm. “Bit early to be drinking so fast, don’t you think?”

“Oh, shush,” Carol says. She pulls her hand away from Abby’s and pats it. “I’ve had to keep it together the whole day. What did you think was going to happen?”

“I think,” and Abby withdraws her hand, moving closer behind Carol. Her best friend’s warmth is welcome behind her, keeping Carol grounded and not reaching for another glass of whiskey. “You’re worrying about it too much.”

“As if you’ve ever done it.”

“And I’ve never done it.” Abby says, and Carol can imagine the smirk on Abby’s lips. Neither of them have ever done it, given, but Carol has gone through it once. She remembers that time, how well orchestrated it felt to be, and compared to that this was nothing. But, Carol thinks, it feels like a whole crowd performance regardless. “She loves you, Carol. This won’t change anything that isn’t already there.”

Which Carol knows to be true. Still. “Does everyone who make a proposal always feel unreasonably nervous beforehand?” Carol looks over to Abby, who reels her laughter in to keep from anyone else noticing.

“I don’t know. You should ask Harge.”

Carol rolls her eyes with a smile. She had been contemplating this for a few years now, and though they could never sign it on paper, proposing to Therese and having Therese say yes to her was as good as anything for Carol. Perhaps they will never be allowed to marry, which Carol thinks is very likely, but having a symbol of their commitment to each other would be nice, especially after fifteen years together.

The ring is hidden in a pocket Carol had sewn into her coat, per Abby’s request. While Carol was content to just pull it out of her purse, Abby wanted it to be a bit grander, and while Carol had rolled her eyes at that, she did like the idea. She would get on one knee and pull it out of her coat, and Therese would suspect nothing.

Oh, just thinking about it made Carol anxious, excited, and on the verge of tears all at once.

‘ _But what if Therese says no?_ ’ While Carol can shut down those thoughts easy, somehow having a ring in her pocket influences her mind to think of such impossible things. Is this how men feel? Well, unlike those simpering men, Carol had spent the past decade and a half with Therese. She knows how Therese likes her morning coffee, how Therese prefers to wash her hair before soaking in the tub, how Therese would never miss a chance to play the piano for her on days they were both home earlier than 5 in the afternoon. Carol has also seen Therese ecstatic from a promotion, furious at the way men had looked at Carol, and inconsolable when news came that Therese’s mother had died. Abby is right, to an extent—Carol and Therese have experienced life as a married couple would, and having rings to tie it all up would not change those things, in fact it would magnify them.

But of course, engagement rings have an odd effect on the person to propose.

“What should I say, Abby?” Carol says. Therese laughs, and Carol feels her heart skip, and her angel has grown into the age Carol had been early in their relationship, but Therese does not seem a day older than the day they met. Perhaps Therese’s face looked more angular now, and her clothes are less on the adorable side and more mature, but she is still Therese.

Oh Christ, how did she get so lucky?

“Oh, you know,” Abby says, and Carol wonders if all lovers forget about time when spending their days with the love of their life. “Tell her you love her, how you felt when you met, the works. Shouldn’t you know that?”

Carol chuckles. “You’d think I would.”

Abby pats her on the back. “You can do this, Carol.”

Therese meets her eyes from across the room, and it’s all the courage Carol needs.

“Of course I can.”

* * *

It is nearing midnight, and Therese looks around at their small gathering and wonders how they got here. Somehow, life got stuck and developed at the same time since she met Carol. They decided to stop running and somehow, still found friends that did not look at them as abominations and mistakes. And, these same friends even tend to see them as the dream of some sort. ‘ _I don’t even mind if it’s an older woman._ ’ Genevieve had said once. ‘ _When is someone going to leave their gloves to ask me to lunch?_ ” They had all laughed, but, looking back, every moment of Carol and Therese’s relationship felt fateful, as if life could not be any other way. As if the Therese who had not taken the job at Frankenberg’s is a dead one, and the Therese who would decide not to go to Carol’s that Sunday would’ve died the same way. Here, in this reality, Therese feels alive, and all it takes is one smile from Carol, one touch, and Therese knows this is where she is meant to be, and all other things will fall into place.

Because Therese cannot pretend this is not what she wants, and any other way would be living against her own grain.

“Alright, everyone,” Abby says, coming into the living room. Behind her follows Carol, who in fact _does not_ head for the place beside Therese, but instead leans against the doorway. She is jittery, and does not look at Therese at all. Therese raises her brow, with Carol looking anywhere but at her. “It’s close to midnight so let’s all make a toast. But before that, Carol has something she wants to say.”

Then, and Therese gasps when she notices it, Carol turns to her with tears in her eyes.

_How is this even possible?_

Carol walks toward her, and takes her hands.

“I have loved you since I set my eyes on you.” Carol says, and Therese does not know what to do. She does not want to cry just yet, but her eyes betray her. Damn them. “I did not think anything would come of it, really. But I wanted to know you, and you allowed me to.” Therese sniffles. Carol smiles, and that is the smile Therese only rarely sees. That is the same smile that had made Therese think, _I want to marry you_.

“Some days, I wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t seen my gloves.” Carol laughs, but it’s the kind that sounds like a sob, and Therese wants to hold Carol’s face in her hands. _Don’t cry_ , Therese wants to say. But her hands fit snug in Carol’s and Therese wouldn’t have it any other way. “Perhaps I’d have found another way to get to you, otherwise I would not know what to do with myself.” A tear escapes Carol’s eye. Therese hears her heartbeat in her chest, _thump_ , _thump_ , steady as the hands holding her own.

“These past fifteen years with you have been wonderful. Imperfect, I’d have to admit, but waking up to you every day is worth every disagreement, every compromise, every goddamn night you make me sleep in the spare room when we fight. I’d like to do that, and all the other glamours of love, for the rest of my days, with you.” Therese feels herself slowly nodding. Her vision blurs, and she vaguely feels twin tears draw tracks down her face. But, unlike the tears she had back when she had ridden the train from New Jersey to New York, these tears were happy.

So, so happy.

Carol gets down on one knee, Therese can’t help but smile when Carol reaches into her coat. Ah, so _that_ was why Carol had not wanted her to use that coat these past weeks. Carol had never minded when Therese stole her coat—but then weeks ago, Carol was suddenly wearing it everywhere, deliberately stealing the coat away from Therese.

“We might not be able to marry, but I’d still like to ask this of you, darling.” Carol smiles, and Therese wants to say yes, yes, yes! Even if by ring only, in any universe, in any other life. Carol opens the velvet box, and it’s a beautiful ring, but Therese cannot fathom anything more beautiful than the woman in front of her.

“Will you be my wife, Therese Belivet?”

There are squeals. Therese is sure of that. Though, she cannot quite focus on anything else, because her eyes and nose seem to decide of their own accord that Therese must be crying now. Also, Therese is rummaging through her own pockets for the ring Dannie picked up for her, hands shaking and unable to grip at anything for long enough to actually get a hold of it. Carol looks confused as Therese pulled her hands away, amused as Therese rummages through her pockets, and when Therese pulls out the box, all Carol can say is

“Sweetheart.” And at that, Carol’s tears fall over the brink.

Therese shakily falls on one knee. “I don’t even know what to say anymore because you’ve said it all, but I love you and I didn’t think— I didn’t think you would propose, tonight, and I’ve been planning this for a while now and—” Therese takes a breath, and Carol is looking at her like she is the universe, and, Therese thinks, no words could speak better for her. “Will _you_ be my wife, Carol?”

Carol nods, and they’re both on their feet, and they’re in each other’s arms and Therese is kissing her, Carol kissing her, and she tastes both their tears on her tongue but it tastes like Carol’s smile, soft against her lips, positively beaming when they pull away.

“Well?” Dannie says, and in the corner, Abby is hysterical. She also has tears in her eyes, though Therese does not know if it’s because she feels like a third member of the proposal or because she knew this was going to happen. “Will you?”

Therese looks back at Carol, and her answer is written so clearly in Carol’s eyes. Now, forever, and perhaps not even death could keep them truly apart.

“Yes.”

There are cheers, but Therese hears none of that. All she hears is Carol’s heart beating against her own, and all she sees is Carol, _her Carol_ , standing in front of her—her wife.

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt was: Christmas proposal.
> 
> This has been my favorite prompt so far!! And I cannot stress that enough!! Just imagining this story made me feel all soft and happy inside, and writing it was even better!! I also took inspiration from the many stories that have gone viral on Twitter, where the gays seem to keep ending up proposing to each other at the same time. Very cute, very gay, very nice. Mix that with Carol and Therese and!! Christmas proposal!! I repeat, Christmas proposal!!
> 
> Anyway, all mistakes are mine, and I don't own the characters—Patricia Highsmith does. Hope you guys enjoyed that as much as I enjoyed writing it. Happy Carolmas!


End file.
